Bye

Off to tumblr :)

Switching to tumblr soon.

Sorry

For making everything difficult on you. I didn't know I pushing it. I'll change

Here's a lil something

11/11/09 <3

You already know :) I didn't have time to blog out what happened yesterday , but anyways.. Paul finally popped the question. Long story short! Made me wait two hours for him to pick me up. Stayed at his house till 6. Blindfolded me. Drove in the car for about a good 10 minutes, got out, walked for 15-20 minutes.I was scared &thought we were in the woods. ): "Count to 3" Took off my blindfolds and we were at Harveston Lake. Candles everywhere, music playing, Saroo, bestfriend, &Noel held a balloon saying WILL YOU BE and on the floor had candles spelled out to be "MINE?" He came up to me and asked me to be his girlfriend &to top that, roses. Of course I'd say yes to him :) 6 months was worth the wait. I don't know what I'd do without him. I care for him so much. He makes me the happiest person ever. The things he does and says to me is super adorable. Through the fights and bullshit we go through, in the end it will be more than okay. I know he'll be there for me through everything. He's different from all those assholes who let me down. He knows what to do. He understands all the shit I put up with. Through my worst, he's been trying his hardest to keep me happy. He is the best thing that someone has gave me. I'd be so lost without him. I know I will ALWAYS be here for him. I've fallen so hard. Through all these words I'm saying..this isn't even 1/4 of why I wanna be with him. You'll never get how much he's made me feel throughout these past 6 months. I love him, and thank you for everything, boyfriend<3

Stress

Overcomes everything, but I got three words "get over it" .

Tell me why

You tend to do the same thing over and over again even tho you say sorry. Do you not get how bad it makes me feel? It's hard for me to control my _______ towards this. Think about it. My feelings for you will never change.

Let it go..

Just another "think everything" night..
I learned how to deal.



In the end, everything will turn out okay

Hiding stuff

Behind my back right? Don't think that I'll find out about it. I know you talk soo much shit about me to them. On messages too? You act like I'm dumb. I thought I was your "favorite" person in the world. It seems to me like you don't give a flying fuck about anything. And now you reject all my calls. I'm so stupid for even trusting you...I knew this was gonna happen. Ever since summer started..what's been going on with YOU. I can't even believe how backstabbing you can get. Go head, thanks for ruining everything. &when you come crying, just know I won't be there. I'm not a "backup" to you anymore. I bet you'll have a better life without me anyways.

Guilty

I know I did the wrong thing on this. I know you've both been disappointed in me as well as knowing I'm in fault. I didn't realize how bad of a person I've really been towards you. I don't know what to do anymore. I guess bestfriends never last either. Lately has been such a no-no. What now? How am I suppose to say "sorry" without crying. I've already wasted too much tears for you but for a good cause. Please understand I'm growing up now, and knowing how to live my life. I know what I'm doing wrong, but hey I learn from my mistakes. I know it's your job to keep an eye out but please for once let me do what I want. This isn't your life, but I also understand your very much welcomed and of course to be in it. Hopefully you can listen and talk to me calmly without screaming and crying. I love you, and you with everything I got. I know for a fact that you will always love me. Thanks for always being there for my worst or best. I know you won't ever, give up on me, ever.

Never trust

Anyone.....That's all I gotta say. Never get too attached to anybody. Never tell anyone anything. Easy as that. Fed up with everyones shit. Learn how to get a fucking life

Isn't it amazing?

How everything is going on with my life right now? Just what I was hoping it'd turn out to be. I want more tho. I can't explain it. Indescribable. Wow, you amaze me in many different ways. You've got my onto ya babyboy. From fights, to hugs &kisses, to deep convos, to sharing secrets, to anything. It's all a rolllercoaster &you got me enjoying this ride. Let's hope it won't end anytime soon. You are the best I ever had. Shankkkk you sweets<3

Secrets

Never last. I'm pretty much done with the people I thought I can trust. Just to get with someone closer other than me. I don't know whose real &whose fake. You guys are just too good. Thanks for giving me your words. Let it all slide aside now

What to do now....?

I'm sorry for not telling you before hand, I told you atleast. You did the same. What do you expect me to do ? The past is the past. I was worried sick last night and didn't even know what to do but to wait for your call. I think its unfair how I found out stuff but I talked it out. I wasn't angry. I just wanted to know. But last night....I practically balled my eyes out after we talked on the phone. I really care for you and I never want to lose you. I CHANGED. I can show you that I changed, just tell me how. I'll do anything. I pretty much gave you everything I have but willing to give more. I sacrificed alot to be with you. Sorry if I'm not perfect or the girl you thought I was , bumbo..just realize how stupid I was 2 yrs ago. Hopefully I see you today.

Sorry

For being mad lately. I just worrry about everything now. I don't know what else I'm supposed to do. If I didn't worry about you that means I could careless about all of this. I'm sorry I can keep up to your level. If you want me to change that I can TRY or atleast put some effort to make this work. This past week felt like a rollercoaster, but hey..I haven't gave up on you. Idk what to believe anymore. I don't know what to say ......

Cutes

I can't explain this feeling I have for you , its indescribable. I miss you soo much &I hope you had a great birthday yesterday. I was hoping to hang out with you yesterday BUT you had no ride home. I'm so glad we made it through all this shit but then again it was worth it. My parents are starting to like you &I'm glad they are. You are such a cutie &adorable. I'm super glad I met you babe<3

New shits

Haven't been using this lately. I'm more into "Twitter" now. Haha, anyways. I think I'm gonna end this cause I never know what to blog out anymore. Too much shit is going around. I've done way to much to even talk about it :)

KBYE !

New Orleans

Been here for a week already , pretty chill. Love my PHAMily <3 Coming back this Wednesday. I'm kinda tired of going out , I need time to be at home! Starting to hate blogspot haha -_- 'Sall about twitter now I guesss. Kbye!

Summa

It's been a week of summer already. So far , it's gooooood :)
Been to Vegas, Cerritos, & Orange County. Down for new shit and chilllllin all day!
"I need new friends" Haha.

Finally almost done

Sick and tired of school. I've just had about enough of essays and finals. Sucks cause the last two days of school we have finals because "ditching" or whatevs. Ugh -__- FML. Get outs one June 12. Almost there, almost done, almost free of school. This summer is gonna be hella fun :) Got alotta plans here and to alotta places. Siked up and ready for school to be over. Wsp Sophmores ?! Hahaha, jk.

Trust

Finally earning my trust back. It's been hellla forever since I've got to spend the night at friend's casa. Testing &alla that just ended "Summmmmah here I come" :) Wooohoo! This week went by fast, but slow, but yet again REAL chill. Got to drive every single day this week. Getting the hang of turning now but still needa practice. Yesterday got me bad. "Bought" stuff from 5 different stores with my homegirl, I only did it though. On the last item some lady came by and started looking at me funnny. Ugh, hellla close but after calmed and went to Sushi Boat. M-m-m, gooood shit.
Tan &Bryan picked us up and took us back to Danielle's house. After, watched movies, yadada. Ended up sleeping at her house :) Gooooood talks with her, I swear. Wuv this giiiiiiiiiiirl. 'Nuff said.

Driving

Was pretty alot easier then I thought. Ha, not scary! I had fun :) &Today was the first day I started. Did a good job. Hm, wayl..Haven't been updating this for awhile, Sowwway bout that. Been busy cause hella CST and alla that junk. Watched OBSESSED with my cousin &brothers. Loved it, you should watch that!



&HAPPPY MOTHER'S DAY mama<3 I lahhhhhhhve you :)

Yesterday

Was 4/20 whuddddda yanno, "national smoke weed day". Didn't do shit, but couple of frans were faded. HA! Anyways, haven't udated this shit in a while....busy. Testing this whole week ): Well just math. Hmm today was an easy, whatevs day. Felt goood after my math sat testing. HELLA e-z.

Yap, and yesterday got my camera finally! Hell yes, lol. Got supes excited 'bout it cause now I can use my own damn camera =) Jeeez, so much happened yesterday &last week. Don't wanna get into nun uh that business. Going to prom cause Janice &Michelle gots me a date, baha! That'll be fun. Hopefully I can stay &chill with 'em afterwards. 'Nufff said, goood day!

Parents are in Vegas

So, parents left friday, long story short. Had to wake up really early to get ready for Disneyland 'happiest place on earth'. Uncle Tom told me to call my cousin Jackie to come here around 10..whadda yanno?! By the time she got here he was still sleeping-_- Wasted almost our whole day but got there around 1:17? Yaap. Took my baby brother for the first..hella fun. Got home around 1:30. GOOD LIFE to tell yah.

First timer

On this 'Blogspot' thannng. Hmmm, I'll get use to it prolly in a few days. Today was a chill, GOOD day :) Cousins came down to pick me &the losers up, went to get Chipotle cause my brother hasn't tried it. Let's see..he seemed to love it ha! That place is the best. Then Went ta Huntington beach around 10:30-ish till 1:40 ? Got some tanning done &swimming kinda. The water was hella cold but got use to it. After, went back to gmamas house &showered up, got ready to get Boiling Crab. YUMMMAY. Ordered 8 lbs of crawfish, a pound of fried oysters, and a to-go box of cajun fries(medium). Shits hella bomb, try it! Then on the way to pick up some tastea, Mary &I found some weird cue place. It was aighht I guess. The pictures came out nice but we bummed it haha! Talk about 'no lifes'. Finallly ate and the day pretty much ended when they left. Need more days like this, playyyyyyyse!